Don't wanna be me anymore...

I feel so much within me but i cant let it out... I went in search of answers and reasoning that I forgot to stop and see what is in front of me... when you are in that web you dont tend to see it. everything gets to you... you take things for granted and you dont communicate what you have to.. YOu basically have a closed mind... and before you know it you grow apart and then end up with more miscommunications... and then you end up being scared to take that chance...

Most people live in a comfort zone for protection of being hurt and pain... But is that a life worth living? Why cant people do what it takes, say what they have to say, take that chance at happiness... Why are we humans so afraid? Having a brain is sometimes a pain.. cos we end up thinking too much.. if only we had the heart and followed it how great would the world be?

People say that nowadays girls are very forward, no morals, and are very fast etc. Girls also have learnt to get what they want from men and be emotionless... What made them that? Sometimes I wish I can be like that... Cos saying what you feel and putting your heart out there hurts you and screws you up in the end cos the others dont understand you... Why bother loving cos all it gives is pain... Why not just use people and have a good time... How does one do that? Man I've gotta try... I dont think my heart can take anymore of this.. I am not blaming anyone but my self... I didnt know what to do.. Hope there was a lesson on life... and everything was so streamlined...

Today was a day I felt so alone.. Well of course putting all my profiles on invisible or offline contributed to it.. But i realised when shit hits the fan there is no one for you but your self... I never want to be in this situation at all.. I felt like dying so many times... I wish I never wake up... So until that happens I am going to change.... I will be a total BITCH. I wont let anyone mess with my heart again... and I'm going to be invisible from now on... Sorry to everyone I end up hurting.. or have hurt in the past... I guess I was never good at telling my feelings I only did the way I knew and I was always said to be too open.. Lets try another way but dont expect me to be a good girl... I dont want that me anymore... and if you dont like it? Well you can just fuck off!

always on your side.

My yesterdays are all boxed up and nearly put away But every now and then you come to mind.. cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game But when your name was called you found a place to hide... When you knew that I was always on your side..

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent... my demons and my angels reappeared.. leaving only traces of the man you thought i'd be too affraid to hear the words i've always feared.. leaving you with only questions all these years..

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear, Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear? Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally This isn't how its really meant to be.. No it isn't how its really meant to be..

Well they say that love is in the air, But never is it clear, how to pull it close and make it stay... Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away and I'm left to carry on and wonder why... Even through it all I'm always on your side...

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear, Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear? Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally This isn't how its really meant to be.. No it isn't how its really meant to be..

Well they say that love is in the air, But never is it clear, how to pull it close and make it stay... Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away and leaving me to carry on and wonder why...

Was it you that kept me wondering through this life?
When you know that I was always on your side....